Everything is absolutely crazy right now. I feel so disconnected from home. I've been working until 5 or 6 almost every day when I used to book it out the door as fast as I could at 4. There just always seems to be so much work to be done. Maybe I'm just trying to keep myself busy. I don't know. I blame excess of work on being sick the past couple of weeks. Today though, I finally feel like I'm back to normal. I've also been having trouble sleeping, and I think it's because I'm stressed. Who knew kindergarteners could cause me so much trouble.
Basically it seems like half the kids in grades prek-3 are sick, and we have a good number of students infected with the swine flu, yet we continue to have classes, and children and teachers are continuing to get sick. Parents here are ridiculous and still send their kids to school even if they're extremely sick. Come on.
On another note, I feel like I'm going through a major funk, and I've been trying to find out why. Thus I developed a theory on the emotional stages of moving across the world (so far). Stage 1: excessive happiness. Nothing can get you down because you're on a new adventure. Everything seems to go your way, and when it doesn't, you don't care because it's all part of the "adventure." Stage 2: loathing. During this stage the subject begins to hate everything about their new culture and begins to count down the days until they can go back home. Everything bad that happens can be easily blamed on the country the subject is in. This stage includes excessive calls to friends and family back home because it's the only coping mechanism. Stage 3: the "push". This is the part were the subject begins to feel somewhat content in their surroundings. All they can see is what's happening now, and can't see past anything that is going on outside of their bubble in their far away land. They begin to push people away that they are close to back home for fear of a relapse back into stage 2. Time becomes increasingly less meaningless and passes quickly. The subject wakes up one day and realizes 256 days have passed by.
That's were I am right now. Sorry for neglecting to communicate back on the home front. I feel like I'm in a funk with little explanation as to why. I can't see past my life here in Korea, and I can't figure out why. All I know is that I don't like my life that much right now, and I just want things to go back to normal. And no, I don't want to talk about it.
Ok, now all that is out, here are some snipets of the past couple weeks here:
There's a new restaurant next to the boys' apt so Cameron, me, Kathy, and Anthony decided to try it out a couple weekends ago. It was yummy.
This is the food. I can't remember what it's called. Surprise. The only way I know how to describe it, is just that it's a bunch of random veggies, leaves, and meat on giant bones thrown into a large boiling pot. Sound appealing?
One more picture of it. I know, you're probably thinking, you actually eat that Ashley? I surprise myself sometimes too.
Anthony and Kathy while it was cooking.
They had free ice cream which I couldn't eat of course. I believe this picture was post Kathy pushing the ice cream so hard into her cone that it broke in half, and then Anthony accidentally licked the public ice cream scoop and put it back into the jar. Nice. I laughed about both of these incidents for a very long time.
We had nothing to do, so we went to our old default. The waffle place by Suwon Station. Always a good choice. Anthony and Kathy are a little bit special.
The other side of the table.After the waffle place, we decided to try something new and went to the Batting Cages. This is a very popular social outing here, and it's super cheap, so we went. It was my first time and I loved it.
Anthony up at bat.
I'm not sure what's going on here, but I was batting I think. I hit 7 out of 15. Woohoo! I was proud!
Kathy's first time too!
Anthony showing off that he hit 10/15. Wooho.
After the batting cages, everyone left at about 11:30 so Cameron and I decided to go do Karaoke. We didn't leave until about 2am. They just kept giving us more time! It was a really fun time.The next night, Anthony and I went to dinner with our friend Pak In and some of his friends from school. After dinner we all went to karaoke. (I know, again?)
Anthony and Pak In dancing and singing to a Chingu (friend) song.After karaoke, Anthony and I went to Paldemun market and ended up finding ourselves in the midst of this huge festival. It was kind of crazy. Roasting pigs everywhere. Very cool.
In the midst of the festival. There were tons of people and food.Fast forward to the next weekend. This is Friday night. We tried unsuccessfully to go decorate cakes (it was closed). So, we decided to go to a DVD Bang (room). Basically you just rent out a private room with really comfy seats and a projector and you watch a movie. They are known for being shady (I'm sure you can guess why) but I thought it was a perfect hang out for a group of friends. We watched a really fantastic Korean movie. (English subs of course).
The five of us in our DVD bang room. After this it started pouring and we all got COMPLETELY soaked standing outside in the cold rain waiting for taxis. I found it really fun. I love everything about the rain. The smell, the feel of it on your skin, and the way it feels to fall aslep to the sound of it...Ok that's all for this update. No one freak out over all the things I said at the top. It's just a funk. I'll come out of it. Hopefully sooner than later.
Song lyrics for today: Casting Crowns "Stained Glass Masquerade"
Is there anyone who's been there?
Are there any hands to raise?
Am I the only one who's traded
the altar for a stage?
The performance is convincing
And we know every line by heart
Only when no one is watching
Can we really fall apart
Are we happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples?
With walls around our weakness
And smiles to hide our pain
But if the invitation's open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain
On our stained glass masquerade
6 comments:
Hey sister! I'm sorry you are in a funk. I totally understand where you're coming from! 1st, I understand super busy school. I have been working what seems like ALL the time since school started, and I am still not caught up or organized. My goal is Thanksgiving? 2nd, I understand your funk. When I was in college my sophomore year and 1/2 of junior year, I was in a TOTAL funk. I was a recluse and ate KFC all the time! I had no idea what was wrong with me...you know, you were there the summer between. It was hard, and I wasn't myself. Although I was only a state away from home, it took a lot of prayer and relying on God for strength and making the right decisions. Sometimes we just have to go through hard things, but the wonderful part about them is that God teaches us so much! I love you so much and am praying for you. I'm sorry I haven't called this week...I meant to every morning, but I keep running late and eating breakfast in the car. When I eat and it is raining everyday, I don't think I should also talk on the phone :) Hopefully we can talk soon, I'm wondering if you've been doing the Detox Bible Study. If you haven't...now is a PERFECT time for you to start! Sorry this is so long, I guess an email would have been more appropriate. Oh well, now many can benefit from my wisdom...lol. Love you! Amy
oh, I forgot to say I love the pics! Even if you are in a funk, you look like you are still having fun. I would love to go to some batting cages! I love your vest too. It's so funny...there is plaid stuff everywhere! I did a LITTLE shopping today and there are plaidish shirts all over the place. I love you DFW, but you are so funny.
Ash, If it helps you look great in all those pictures. Love you bunches and praying for you daily.
Leanna
Dad says "Life has it's ups and downs, and no one is exempt from the downs." To get through the downs, pray often and reel in those positive things in your life like a BIG fish. Sorry we're not there to give you a BIG hug, but at least we were there a few weeks ago. Great pics! It took me 2190 days to finish my bachelors degree while working full time.. Love Dad.
Ash, you know I hated reading that! I can't stand knowing you're sad and I'm so far away! Sorry you're in the funk but as you know we all go through those ever so often in our lives. Just know we are praying for you and you pray for God's guidance also. I know He is going to give you what you need. Love you and miss you so much already even though we saw you not too long ago. Hey where is the 2nd part of our trip? I wish we would have gone to the batting cages. That would have been fun and I probably would have done better at that than at the golf swings!! You'll be home in less than 2 months for a whole month. Can't wait! Sorry to say we moved the piano today to Amy's so it won't be here when you're home. Guess you'll have to play at her house or grangran's. Her house is much closer and I know she would love to hear you playing at her house. Love you and talk to you tomorrow! Mom
Oh my dear Ashley, my heart hurts when I read your words, but I know withouth a shadow of a doubt that God will supply everything you need and then some.
I am so proud of your obedience to God's invitation. He will rewards your obedience I promise. He will literally carry you through this, just lean into Him and like you say above, 'trust his heart'.
As I type this Cali - the little cat - keeps trying to get in my lap. I know how very much you love and miss her :) :) :)
I'm leading a ladies retreat next month and we are looking at Pauls' words in 2 Corinthians 4:7-18. Read it and let God's Word wash over you.
I think you need a trip to Seattle while you're home....hint...hint.
I love you so much. You are being 'held up' in prayer and even though I can't give you a physical hug right now...I'm sending a virtual one. Do you feel it??
Love you,
MiMI
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