So, I'm sure this is what you've all been waiting for... my decision to stay or not to stay in Korea for one more year. I had to tell my school for sure this Wednesday, so my decision is official.
I guess you want to know what I told them.
Basically, as most of you know, when I went home this summer, I was DETERMINED not to stay another year in Korea. I hated my job, and I didn't think I could last longer than another semester. I knew this semester was going to be hard enough in itself, so I definitely couldn't imagine enduring it for any longer than that. Also, I was given the opportunity to start a ministry that has been my dream for the longest time when I finished my time here in February. So many things were pulling me away from Korea, and I was ok with it.
Here's the but.
BUT, the thing is, God's ways are not my ways, nor His thoughts my thoughts...
My first week back in Korea, I agreed to visit a new church with Caroline. Both of us felt an instant connection to the church, and God really gave me a peace about attending this church. It's amazing how my world flipped completely upside down in like two hours. After the service, there is a newcommers gathering where you can learn about the church and hear the pastor's testimony. Basically his testimony was amazing, and the theme of his journey was obedience. So many things he said hit me really hard. The biggest thing was that he said, "If you can't obey authorities placed in your life here on earth, how do you honestly expect to obey the Lord?" This ripped my heart because the reason I had such a hard time last semester was a lot to do with the administration over me at my job. But God was just saying, "Ashley, don't forget why I've brought you here. I have placed you in this position for a reason, and I expect you to be obedient to that..." Whoa.
And that was it. Yeah, at first I was just saying to the Lord, "I can't hear you, I can't hear you!" but he began to change my heart. Slowly, my attitude at work started to change, and all of the sudden I really started to like my job. I actually end the day feeling happy.
I think a lot of changes in administration are taking place at CCA next year, so I'm hoping that means an even better experience next year.
All that to say I am staying, and I'm actually really excited to see what the Lord does while I'm here for the next year and a half. (that's kind of scary saying it like that!)
Ok, just wanted to fill you all in on where I am at....
Lyrics for today: "Be Near" Shane and Shane
For dark is light to you
Depths are height to you
Far is near,
but Lord I need to hear from you
Be near, oh God, Be near, oh God of us
Your nearness is to us our good
Be near, oh God, Be near, oh God of us
Your nearness is to us our good
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4 comments:
Ah, so you've decided not to stay for another year at CCA. I'm debating with that right now and I have a week before I have to tell the principal of my decision.
To tell you the truth, I was the same as you. I was determined to just stay here for one year and one year only, especially after how I saw the administration dealt with school matters. However, as time passed, I felt myself becoming closer with the Korean teachers here and I feel like my leaving would be pre-mature and unfair. The first year is always hard, I heard from Ken, and the second year is when everything starts to settle in.
I still haven't decided and I'm sure I'll be making a very long blog entry about my contemplations some time in the near future lol But it was nice to read how you came to make your decision. Thanks for the entry :)
oops.. i meant "decided TO stay for another year" >_<;
I'm proud of your decision process and your decision. You have our love and support, and we are glad to see God working through you! You hit the bulls eye, God is our authority and we need to obey him and trust His will. LUV DAD SEE YOU THIS WEEK !!!
booo!! but good. im excited the Lord spoke to you so clearly and you have a solid peace about staying and also excited for what the Lord has in store for your time. but also know this extends the fight we are in indefinately.
also know i listened to zac and vanessa sing while i read your blog.
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